What a fucking waste of an outfit
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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