I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
