i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
