dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
