listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
