dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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