It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
