Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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