Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
