His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
