my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
