dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
