ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
