Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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