I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
