do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
