So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
