um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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