Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
