We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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