doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
