I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
