So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
