Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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