hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
