My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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