too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
