I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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