I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
