It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
