im drinking this country out of the recession.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
