just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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