Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
