What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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