Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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