lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
