well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
