Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
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