why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
