You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i dont even know how to be here
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
