so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
