i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
this just has baby written all over it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
