are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
