dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
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