I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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