marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
