I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
