If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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