if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
