One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All the doctor said was why
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
