I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
